lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
