gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
