I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize