Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
