Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
how drunk are you?
Several
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
