She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
