i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
