Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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