Just cropdusted the office
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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