So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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