too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had to cum in my sink.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
