What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
