I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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