Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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