i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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