Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.

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(817): View more from Texas

You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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(604): View more from British Columbia

All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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(719): View more from Colorado

Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

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(443): View more from Maryland

If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think

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(613): View more from Ontario

I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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(516): View more from New York

I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...

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