That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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