apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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