I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
