we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
