I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
