Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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