Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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