Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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