Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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