I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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