White coat. Heels.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
