I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
