Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He felt like a one man threesome
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
