): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize