I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
