I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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