So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
