So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
