Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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