she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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