I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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