Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
