am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize