I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize