dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
