omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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