Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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