You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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