If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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