yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
