I will die if light touches me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
