I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
