Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
