i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize