I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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