who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
