I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
