Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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