he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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