I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
