i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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