The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize