help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
