So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
