I think I died a long time ago.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize