i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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