Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
