here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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