The maid of honor just puked.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
