Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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