garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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