I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
