Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
