can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
