so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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